The 56th Mile of Life

Hello, my wondering readers,

Sometimes I feel like going outside and screaming with the cicadas. But oftentimes, I find myself sitting on the porch and just talking to the big man in the sky. Today, it was one of those days. I’ve been through quite a lot in my life, that’s no secret, but I had something weighing on my heart these past months. I’ve been struggling, and it’s hard to admit it. I’ve pushed and worked, really giving everything I got, but I left one thing on the back burner, myself.

See, I have this thing called “worry the shit out of myself” anxiety. Because of this weight I’ve been hauling around, I’ve worn myself down a bit. So, I sat there and was talking to God, giving him the full tea. Finally, I’m aggravated, I’m crying, I’m tired. I look up and I say, “God, why am I struggling so bad. I know I am blessed, I know I have accomplished so much and grown over the past months, but what the hell am I going through and how in the hell do I keep going?” well i guess, God listened because i heard a message loud and clear in my head “Stay focused, let GOD DO T-H-E R-E-S-T”. I know if he were sitting in front of me, I would be sitting there looking like a turd.

I needed that reminder. At that moment, it was the lifeline that touched my heart. It was time to get rid of all the fear, the doubt, grief, and depression. It was okay. Every worry I have been carrying, I could let go of all of it now. It was no longer mine to take. Does that mean I lose along the way, yeah, absolutely, and it sucks, but the gain and the peace and positivity are so much sweeter with a future that’s filled with love and growth. Compared to the opposite.

Never lose sight of who you are, what you dream of, and how you want the ending of your story to be. We are all on this journey of life together. It’s not a competition; it’s a life you truly want to build for yourself that will make you happy. It’s okay to take the weight of the world off your shoulders sometimes and let that go. I hope this passage inspires someone today, if it’s not your cup of tea that’s okay too. Just remember you’re amazing. Keep going, we’ve got this!

-56(Taylor Holsten-Davis)