The 56th Mile of Life

This post may be triggering or very emotional for some please proceed with caution.

Pain is inevitable. We must all endure Pain, for it makes us stronger. Pain may sometimes only last for a bit, or sometimes it is something we must endure to understand ourselves truly. You can find joy in Pain. You may also even find hope and courage. That is the challenge of Pain, for I know it well, too. Though it has taken parts of my mind and pieces of me, it has also brought me wisdom, belief, and confidence. 

     Dear readers, we must experience Pain to find what we truly love and our paths toward brighter futures. Pain, like many other things, has its human perspective. Society tells you Pain is a bad thing, that it should be feared, and that Pain is ending. But as a philosopher, poet, writer, and spooky person, I have never seen it as such. 

     Pain brings beginnings for you. Dear reader, you were brought into this world through Pain and strife by your mother through love and endurance. Dear reader, how many times have you fallen and got back up? Was it not painful? When they passed, weren’t you happy they were no longer suffering and in Pain? Dear reader, is Pain not your ally in this world? It has tested your strength time and time again, creating courage and strength where most would falter. 

      Pain, like mistakes, teaches us lessons; Pain teaches us that something or someone is genuine. That you, dear reader, overcame the impossible. Pain is a warning sign, so be alert and attentive. Pain is the foundation of great discoveries and new adventures. Pain is a part of our lives. Without it, we would not know if we are hurt, if feelings exist, or if life is still going. To have a relationship with Pain is very difficult. Me and Pain have had many talks, for example:

     I was sitting on my bed typing away when Pain entered the room. He sat on my bed and looked at me for a second. I looked back at him in acknowledgment and said, “This is it, huh?” Pain looked down and then back at me with sorrow and tears withheld in his eyes. “I’m so sorry,” Pain says. I shut my laptop, and we sit in silence. I take a breath and look him in the eyes. “Was it not enough?” I say to Pain. Pain took my hand in his caress and said, “Only love can handle something broken.” Understanding but not entirely at the time, “For you, my girl, understand this, for you are a diamond, created from pressure and harsh conditions, that’s what will help you endure.” I start to tear up a little following the conversation, knowing what to say will be the hardest.

 “Must I?” Knowing how the hurt has grown, knowing that the tears still fall from my cheeks, such love could leave an imprint on such a soul. Pain and I look into each other’s eyes, seeing the most vulnerable parts connecting, becoming vulnerable with each other and careful, as if we are pieces of china sitting on the edge of a shelf. “Yes, for you have so much to give and so much to do; the battle is not over for you; you must keep going, for I believe in you, and god believes in you, which is why he gives his biggest battles to his strongest soldiers.” Pain pauses and takes a laugh, causing me to giggle—Pain is looking as if like a child. Wonder and delight fill his presence. “My dear, I do not come to hurt; I come to comfort thee because, like all great Pain, come beginnings and healing like the Phoenix born from the ashes. You will rise again, and the joy will return, but time is your dossier. You must take the time you need; the only thing that matters is how you process it, not how others want you to.” 

    I breathe, knowing Pain must go to someone else, beckoning him away. “Thank you for coming, pain,” I say lovingly and gratefully. Pain begins for the final time: “I’m always going to love you. Never forget that, even when the world is falling apart, you remain as the beautiful tower of a soul; keep the light on and glowing with the love you have in your heart. It will.” he cries a tear with sorrow in his eyes; I begin to cry with him again, and he finishes the last verse on an ocean big enough to carry the tears to the sunset: “It will carry you all the days of your life until you reach that beautiful kingdom in the sky. Then the most beautiful piece of art would have existed, you,” and with hesitating arms, I hugged my friend Pain; I wiped his tears, dried his hands, and watched him go. Knowing he will always guide me and root in my corner. 

    Pain is not the enemy; it’s a window created to see the most vulnerable and highly contagious parts of ourselves. It is meant to guide us in understanding our mistakes. Pain is a rare form of art. To look it in the eyes and to still choose joy, love, hope, and faith makes you, dear reader, an outstanding person. Never forget the power you hold when it comes to Pain; it is your choice and your future; how exciting! 

Always, 

-56