The 56th Mile of Life

Hello Wondering Reader,

Over the past couple of weeks, I stepped away. I have been working on school stuff and getting my life in the direction I want it to go. Really, building on challenging work and trying to fix relationships and to work on myself. I can finally say I found my path. But who would I be if I did not show some wisdom, like each of you know I do.

I heard some quotes I would like to share:

“Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game” – Hilary Duff, Cinderella story, 2004.

“At your highest moment, be careful, that is when the Devil comes for you……When the devil ignores you, then you know you are doing something wrong. Conversely, when he comes at you, maybe it is because you are doing something right. “– Denzel Washington, 2022

These two quotes have one purpose, and the purpose is to enlighten us on where we see ourselves in the next 20 to 30 years. Often times when I am struggling with my PTSD or I am thinking about life in general I have to take a step back and analyze what I have done, what I need to do, and where I need to be in order to succeed. I do this once a week, talking through the things that bother me and what I can fix and what I cannot. Sometimes I get lost in what everybody else wants me to be rather than who I am as a person or individual.

But at the start of this year, I showed significant growth, because I changed my mindset. I realized that as a person I am kind, caring, thrive on creativity, bold and straightforward. I like experiencing unfamiliar places and different walks of life. I really want to bring out who I am as a person. While also bringing out the good in others. Well, that is when the Devil hit me the hardest, I kept facing things that challenged my health, who I am, and my beliefs. Reflecting symptoms of frustration, stress, sickness, depression, and the list continues. But my actions are what set me apart, and really pissed the Devil off. Instead of just giving up, losing myself, I decided that I was not going to take it anymore. See, it is a decision, a strength inside each of us. Some people settle because it is safer, the road is easier. But others aspire to wonderful things because they decided to be true to their heart and who they were as a person rather than being bought into a bad deal. I choose to move forward and beyond that. I made mistakes but my mistakes do not define me as a person my faith, strength, and courage does. I no longer answer to people here on this earth that do not have my best interest, I can only answer to my God because they are not the ones who created me.

So, to move forward I had to get the closure and find an ocean to cast my worries in. I finally discovered the root of the infection and I cast it out. I set a course to take back my life and to also have the happiness I have deserved after 22 years of suffering. I decided to fight for my life. Because like lightning it only strikes once in the same place. Realizing my worth, and my gifts to share how I navigate and experience the world is one of the most beautiful things I can give to other people. I hope my writing can impact you also inspire you to reach inside you and fight for your life and how you want to live it and what you want to experience. Money, materials, and all the stuff that has been shoved down your throat to value. But it is not what is important. What is important, is when you do get to the end of this road will you be happy about it and have lived to the best of your ability, or when you do look death in the face will the regret eat you alive? Make a decision each day to try and do better than the day before. This journey never ends but what you make of it and what you learn will prepare you for all you need. If you are a person that is struggling look within yourself for the strength, I know each and every single one of you have it, because each of you are capable of so much potential, for the love of all things holy do not waste it and the time that has been gifted to you.

Always,

-56